Into the ocean, End it all
by That One Chiklit
Summary: He was SO screwed. Shep whump! Warning: contains attempted suicide. Based on a song by Blue October, you don't have to know the song to enjoy...
1. Screwed

**This fic is based on the song "into the ocean" by Blue October. Hope you enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Blue October, Stargate Atlantis or any of its characters...Yet  
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**Warning: This story contains attempted suicide...muahahaha! **

He was just an average boy who had jumped from the east pier into frigid waters. He was nothing special, nothing extraordinary, he was just Sheppard. He leaped into the air and came back down over frigid waters, filling every hole in his body. Attacking all of his pores, filling his lungs, his shoes, drenching his clothes. He came back up sputtering unaware that he had floated far from Atlantis. It was then he realized he had made a HUGE mistake. He didn't want to end his life, at least not this way…

And now he was stuck. He wanted to swim back to the pier, but all the energy had left his body. He felt like a small child who had been dumped in the water and told to swim for hi life, but he couldn't. Sheppard treaded for his life, floating up and down, spinning slowly searching for the familiar place called Atlantis. Sheppard jerked upward when he heard a low moan, it sounded like a whale. But they didn't have whales on Atlantis, did they? Now he was officially freaked. He was scared and thought he would never see his home again, never play "prime or not prime" with McKay, Never argue with Elizabeth, or spar with Teyla again. He shivered violently, he was _cold. _Not like cold on a winter's day, but a cold that froze every liquid in his body. That chilled him right down to the core. He was cold as cold can be. And that was DAMN cold!

He looked up seeing the tall spires of Atlantis far on the horizon. It looked as if he would never reach it, even if he swam forever. Soon he realized his situation could not get any worse. Almost on cue, it started to rain. He treaded water a bit more and then a wave crashed down on him with the force of a freight train, dragging him under, sucking the breath from him. He was so screwed.

He kicked and fought to break the surface, but couldn't. Suddenly his face broke through and he found he was further from Atlantis than he thought. He slowly stopped kicking, stopped moving. The cold gripped him, freezing his body, stopping his breathing. A sense of warmth tinged up from his toes up to his matted hair. He knew that was a bad thing, but at the moment he didn't care. His unmoving legs and arms longed for the solid ground where they could walk, run, jump, or fight. But Sheppard knew that would never come again. He let out a strangled scream; water entered his mouth, filling his nose and lungs as he sank slowly under the surface of the water he so loved. He dug down deep trying to muster as much energy as he could, and with one last yelp and a kick, he sank below the surface.

Under the water his lungs protested for air and he knew he would eventually have to breath and he would breath in water, ending his life. He relaxed with some sort of peace and floated slowly down, is hair waving around like sea kelp. Sheppard's eyes closed and he no longer fought for air, his limps relaxed and floating about him.


	2. Dear Readers

**Dear Readers,**

Okay, I have a challenge for you all. I don't like the Chapter I have written for this story. If you write a second chapter, and post it, (make sure you mention it was MY challenge) I will decide who has written the best one and use it for my second chapter, all credits to you. (Be sure to let me know when you upload your chapter!)

**Liz Grace**


	3. Rescue?

**Sorry for the long delay folks. The summer was quite an exciting adventure, but now that I'm in a new and tougher high school, life just kinda took over. Midterms and finals, sucking my time into black hole know as Private High School. Argh! But I somehow managed to finish my homework within a reasonable hour and decided to update!**

**Now, since it's been so long since I've updated, you may want to review the first chapter… Well, Enjoy!**

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Carson walked briskly down the hall toward Lt. Colonel John Sheppard's quarters. The man had left the Mess looking so blue that he may have blended in with the sky. His bright hazel eyes no longer holding the life it they once held. Carson followed the man with his eyes until he had exited the Mess and stood, busing his tray, unaware that he had cut off a conversation with Teyla.

"Dr. Beckett?" She asked, glancing up.

"Oh, luv," He smacked his forehead. "Ah'm sorry. But I really must go. How about breakfast tomorrow at…oh say…9 am?" She smiled gently and nodded.

"That would be very nice Dr. Beckett." She said. He returned the grin and left, his lab coat trailing behind him.

And here he was now, standing at the Colonel's door, hitting the chime over and over. The door was locked, and there was no answer for some time now. Fearing the worst, Carson resorted to radioing Rodney.

"Rodney?" He asked.

"Yes, Yes. What?" He answered briskly; keys clacking could be heard in the background.

"Ah'm at John's door and he won't seem to answer it. Do you think you can open it for me?"

"Have you tried opening it using the ATA lock?"

"If I did would I be calling you?"

"Right…a few moments here…aaannndd…done." The connection was cut and the door slid open.

"Thank you Rodney." He said, knowing he would get no response. Stepping inside he surveyed the room before him. It was neat and orderly, just as Carson expected, but no sign of the Colonel.

"John?" Carson called quietly. Soon, he determined that John was not in his quarters. Carson let out a long sigh and hung his head, knowing he would need to call Rodney again. Touching his ear gently, he called Rodney's name.

"What Carson? Still can't figure it out? Maybe there's a reason that you can't…" Carson cut him off.

"You know that program you were developing with finding specific life signs?" Carson asked.

"Yeah," Rodney began, "But I've only got a few personnel in the database."

"Colonel Sheppard among them?"

"Sure, I entered the Head's first. Why? You lookin' for him?"

"Yes, he seemed a bit upset when he left supper. Can you locate him?"

"On it." More keys were heard clacking and Rodney returned. "I can't find him. Maybe there is something wrong with the program or maybe even the scanner. Sorry Carson."

Carson paused for a moment. The Colonel had been known for disappearing amongst the scanners using his ATA gene.

"Can you extend the scanners to the unexplored areas? Perhaps he went for a run?" Again, there was frantic typing.

"Got him. He's…in the water? Wait…that doesn't make sense…?" More keys, but Carson wasn't paying attention.

"Rodney? Where in the water?" His voice was worried now. It was too cold for just a night swim. The skies were overcast, and the water frigid. If the Colonel was in the water…

"Near the East pier but…" Carson never heard the rest. He just took off at a sprint toward the nearest transporter. He punched his finger into the small blue dot that represented transporter near the east pier.

Upon reaching it, he ran out the doors at full speed and nearly ran into a wall when he heard what Rodney had to say next.

"Wait! The sign disappeared! Stupid piece of worthless junk…" He trailed off and Carson's heart leapt into his throat.

"No…" Carson breathed. He set off at a run again, nearing his destination. He flew into the open air, almost immediately getting soaked as the rain came down hard. He stood at the edge searching the water for that bobbing dark head. For a few moments he thought maybe the scanners were lying, that John was sitting in the Mess ginning and out of harms way. But then he saw it. That hair that could defy gravity, even when wet. He screamed into his radio for a medical team. Flung his radio out of his ear, shook off his lab coat and kicked off his shoes. Finally, he dove into the water.

For a moment, he was stunned, to numb to move. But soon, the adrenaline kicked in and he broke the surface gasping for air, searching for that dark head once more. Unable to locate it, he dove underwater and cracked his eyes open, stinging from the salt. Seeing a dark figure in the distance, he began to kick. He kicked for all he was worth and within a few sluggish moments, he reached John. He hooked an arm around the man's chest and began to kick for the surface.

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**So? What did you all think? Be sure to tell me by clicking this Oh-So-Pretty button below you there!**

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	4. Cold Drowning

Into The Ocean, End it all – Part Two

Into The Ocean, End it all – Part Three

Written by my good friend Tori, thank you so much!

Carson gasped for air as he broke though the icy waves. He did it alone; John wasn't breathing. Carson shifted his position and gave John a sternum rub.

"Come on lad, breathe." He rubbed harder. John wasn't responding, and there wasn't much more Carson could do in the ocean; CPR was out of the question. And forcing air into lungs possibly filled with water wasn't such a good idea either.

He hadn't requested a puddle jumper, but he knew Rodney must have. Hopefully they would think to bring something to get them out of the water with; there was no way the jumper could get close enough to them in waves like this.

There were being thrown up and down; white caps crashed on their heads. And it was cold. Very cold. Carson knew John was hypothermic, but that was a good thing. People downing in warm waters have a higher chance of brain damage then those in cold water. Cold water drowning was the way to go, not that drowning was ever a good idea.

_'Just keep your head above the water, someone will be here soon.'_ Carson kept thinking to himself.

James Nickerson had never expected to find himself in another galaxy. He was the only Coastie to have found his ay to the lost city of Atlantis; ironic seeing as how it floated in the middle of an ocean. He had been on the Icebreaker _Polar Star_. They'd gone ashore in McMurdo once; he had touched something he shouldn't have. And it glowed. It turned out he had the gen, stronger then Carson's, but not as strong as Sheppard's. He was soon assigned to Atlantis.

At the moment, he found himself sprinting down the east pier of the Lost City. He has seen Carson sprint down the pier, catching snippets of the conversation he held with someone else. As soon as he figured out what was going on, Carson was in the ocean. He contacted the control room; Rodney answered _"Kinda busy right now!"_

"Put me on with whoever is in charge of the rescue."

_"Why?"_ Rodney could never be easy.

"I'm the most experience member of the expedition when it comes to cold water rescues." He ground out, know every second counted.

_"Are you that Coast Guard guy?"_ Rodney could be so slow at times.

"YES!"

_"Right, patching you through."_ Rodney's voice cut out.

_"Major Smith here. You have information?"_

"Tie the lift basket we have to the jumper. It will take to long to rig up the winch. Just secure it and do a straight life from the water to the pier."

_"Okay, ETA about five minutes."_

"Okay, I'm going in to assist. Have a medical team on the east pier." He tore off his headset and jacket, kicked off his boots, then dove into the water. He swam strong and hard for Carson; the current had caused them to drift quite a distance.

"Dr. Beckett sir, Nickerson here to help." He smiled. Carson knew who he was; Rodney often tired to con both of them into making things glow. Neither of them particularly enjoyed the ramifications having a strong gene.

"Gr-reat-t, 'elp me hold-t 'im up-p-p." James swam into position and help support the unconscious man.

"The jumper should be here soon. In about-t four minutes-s." Shivering was setting in.

They stayed there like that, threading water. Neither spoke until the jumper got there, not wasting precious heating energy speaking.

When the heard the hum of the engines, but both let out a sigh, and said "About time" in unison.

"See the bask-ket-t? They're g-going-g to l-l-lower the j-jumper-r down b-by the w-water-r and I'll get-t Shep-p-pard into it then they'll t-t-t-take him to the dock-k." James explained.

"G-g-good-d" Carson chattered out.

"T-then-n you." Carson was about to argue. "N-n-no, I've got-t-ten in these on-n my own-n-n before, you haven't-t." Carson nodded, or as least gave a shiver that looked like a nod.

When the basket hit the water James manhandled the Colonel into it before giving the signal to lift it up, he arm straight in the air. The jumper didn't move. '_Not Coasties.'_ He remembered before shouting "G-g-g-go DAMNIT-T-T!"

The basket slowly lifted from the water before it sailed towards the dock. The pilot set the basket down without landing the ship. The two in the water could barely see the tops of heads moving about as John was lifted from the basket and placed on a gurney and rushed off to the infirmary; someone straddled him performing chest compressions.

A few minutes later the jumper was back, basket in the water. James helped Carson in, shouted again and off he went. James stayed there; treading water on his own for what felt like hours, though he knew in reality is was only minutes.

Once he managed to climb into the returned basket, he closed his eyes and held on for dear life. He hated the things. He welcomed the _bang_ of hitting the dock; soon hands were all over him. He shook them off, trying to climb out on his own.

He stumbled out and over to where Carson was trying to talk to one of the other doctors, tell her that he was fine. "Where's-s-s the Colonel-l-l-l?" James questioned.

"Infirmary, where you should both be. Now, get on the gurney." The doctor's voice left no room for argument and the both sat on the wait gurneys.

The infirmary was alive with the bustle of people running to and from the Colonel. "I've got a heartbeat!" rang out above the rest of the noise.

Carson tried to crawl out of bed but was held in place, "Don't you dare. You're hypothermic," the nurses placed several warm blanket of each of them, "and don't you dare argue otherwise, just look at your hands." They had a blueish tinge to them and were shaking violently as he shivered.

"F-fine" he said, welcoming the warm water bottles another nurse just showed up with. He tried to protest about the IV, but that just earned him glares and a reminder that he had no room to argue right now, he was the patient not the doctor.

"He's in VFib!" Came a sharp voice along with the whine of paddles being charges.

TBC

**A.N **I'm a proud USCG brat. The USCG is the ONLY branch that hasn't been on Stargate. I'm convinced they should at least have a few in Atlantis. Even if they don't have a patrol boat in Atlantis (why would they need one?) there are pilots and medical Coasties. And they have just as good a chance of having the gene as the flyboys! So, I had to throw one in;)


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